Kresge Writers' House Presents...

Always You Part 17

New to the blog?  Read from the beginning here.
Just catching up?  Read the previous installment here.

.

.

2.

You know what it’s like when you go to a person’s house that you used to go to a lot as a kid, and it’s like your home away from home, but when you come back after a few years, it’s suddenly alienating? It’s not like you and that kid had a falling out, or even drifted apart like childhood friends are wont to do. You just come back to that part of town, find the house, and something just feels off. Like you moved on, or at least should have.

That’s about as close as I can get to describing standing in front of Evangeline’s house for the second, and most possibly last time. Something felt wrong. Maybe I had dimension-hopping after sickness. Maybe I was turning drunk from being near Carina for as long as I have. Or hell, maybe I was just afraid to go in and watch my world suddenly turn into a martial-arts movie with broken philosophical concepts.

I know, I know.

We’re almost through—even I can see that—and I’m bagging on the The Matrix Reloaded. I’m running out of material and willpower. You try going to a place called Ultima—in and of itself being ridiculous—and try being witty and sarcastic right after.

“This is the place?” Carina asked after clearing her throat a few times.

There was no mistaking it. The bad paint job and the light hint of pot emanating from the walls made it a Familiar’s dwelling each way you cut it.

“This is it,” I said.

“So…why aren’t we going inside?”

Why aren’t I going inside?

Why aren’t you going inside, Henry Collins?

I’ve got a better one, world. I’ve got one for that damn Evangeline with her red hair and intentionally vague answers and time-travel subplots and doublecrossing.

I banged on the door. She answered, dressed in bright red so as to keep in line with her usual modus operandi. She looked at me, then at Carina, and back to me again. The deadpan blue eyes gave me nothing, and I instantly felt like an idiot for expecting that they would.

Nothing about this…I don’t know, “reality” has changed much. The Jack and Paloma are gone. That’s all.

Hell, that hurt to think about. If not to physically contemplate the jibber-jabber from their mouths, then to realize the idea that Paloma was the entire reason for most of my actions.

“You’re back from Ultima,” Evangeline said. “Come inside quickly. We do not have much time.”

I snapped out of my head and back to that front porch. Evangeline opened the door wide and motioned us to follow her, back to her tiny bedroom with yellow walls and positively dainty furniture in the farthest back room. I made sure to close the door as we went in. I don’t think I can take any more surprise goon appearances.

Evangeline’s room, just as I had expected, remained exactly the same as how I left had it. It wouldn’t be an unfounded guess to think that the bed was even untouched. To be honest, the extent to which Familiars are human is a question I’d need another summer serial to think about.

Carina sat across from Evangeline. I opted to lean against the wall, like a genuine hero. Or like a genuine Keanu Reeves knockoff. Granted, he’s one of the best ‘hero’ actors of our time, so it’s perfectly fine.

After a short silence, Carina groaned and got the ball rolling. “So I hear the world’s ending. That’s not something you come across much as an operator these days.” She tried to hide the shakiness in her tone and failed.

“Indeed, it isn’t.” Three word responses? I didn’t have the patience for that.

“Cut the shit, Evey. You know what this is about.”

“I do.”

“Then answer me one question.”

“What did the Jack of All Trades tell me before returning to his plane? Or perhaps, what is the weapon the Jack left to you and how does one wield it?”

Two good choices, but I had a better one.

“Why me?”

Carina put her head in her hands and groaned like the grinding metal. I ask one loaded question and she’s already pushed to the facepalm technique. Man, she really needs to get out more. Note to self.

“Sorry, Evangeline, but this goes way beyond being the high school hero. I’ve done some cool shit in the past, I’ll own that, and Carina and Kenneth were there almost the entire time to prove it. But this is…this is nuts.

“I mean, alternate dimensions? Time travel? Sundered people? Why is this all on my shoulders? It’s not right, and to be honest, I’m getting fed up really fast.”

“Perhaps you do not want that answer. This is mixed company, Henry.”

Since when is Carina considered ‘mixed company’? She jumped through time with us. She’s part of the team.

“I don’t give a hell, Evey. Tell me. Why is it me?”

“Because of Paloma’s feelings for you.”

Come again?

“Paloma, as a Familiar, has the same clairvoyant abilities we all do. She has watched you, and knows more about your life than you do now. Both her sundered, absent self and the human, Becky half had bonded with you. This is how the time loop is structured.”

“The loop is built around reforming Paloma’s abilities and having her bond with me? Like you and Forest.”

“Exactly like that.”

Carina jumped in, her fingertips dancing a happy dance on her lap, searching for a handle—in this case, keyboard—on the moment. “And the loop repeats in a never-ending cycle, right? That’s what Jack said. Meaning…”

She turned to me, eyes wide not with fear or anything like that, but with wonder. With a look that Carina had never given me before. A look that said I was unique.

“It’s you because Paloma falls for you each time. It’s always been you, Henry.”

Stupid lousy time travel, dimension-hopping logic.

“Now that you brought her up, we can discuss the plan of action.” Evangeline’s voice must have dropped at least a good octave, maybe two. I hadn’t heard a serious note come from her voice yet. When somebody like her gets serious, you can tell. It’s like when mom gets pissed off at home. I can throw bitch fits all year long, but when mom’s not happy, there’s trouble.

“Paloma is your Familiar, just as I am Forest’s. However, Forest is different. Being bonded to me for as long as he has, and abusing my abilities for as long as they have, has made Forest vulnerable to Familiar power. Think of it as adding more burns to a seared body.”

Don’t tell me. “You’re saying me and Paloma have to fight you and Forest?”

“This is not guaranteed. We are out of a time loop, and thus I have my own part to play now, but this is the gist.”

“Paloma’s not even here anymore,” Carina said. “Isn’t she…” She pointed upward. Good choice of words.

“She is in the Ultima reality, and thus she will keep Forest from easily merging it into Miranda Cove. Henry, you have to defeat Forest on this side. Only with your combined efforts can this work.”

Defeat him. Didn’t I get a weapon or something for this?

“Paloma is your weapon. You do not understand yet, but I can only hope you do when the time comes.”

Lovely.

I’m not alone though, right? I’ve got Carina and Kenneth still. It’s not like I have to go into the world-saving final dungeon with the grit of my teeth.

God, that’s a disgusting phrase.

“That’s true.” She looked at Carina. “Knowing what you know, do you still want to help?”

“Don’t I have to? I’m kind of the operator.” Which is funny when you count how many times she’s actually been useful so far.

“Not at all. There is always a choice in the matter.” Unless you’re me, apparently.

Carina nodded, lips tense and eyes stern. The Carina look for when it’s time to kick ass. “I’ll need a computer.”

“You’ll find that outside my home,” she said. “My powers are no longer as potent as they once were inside the loop, but I do still possess some future sight. Forest is at the boardwalk. You have four hours. Good luck, Animal House.”

Is that it? Really? The boardwalk, four hours, good luck? Goddamnit. Even when he’s not technically alive, the Jack can be a completely useless jackass.

Hey, does that count as a pun?

Carina thanked Evangeline for her help as we left, still blissfully unaware of the fact that our helpful redhead is playing for the opposite team. Ten bucks says I’ll have to fight her. Watch me on this.

Unless I just jinxed it, and that won’t happen. Or I just lulled myself into a false sense of security, and we will definitely have to fight. You know what? Screw this. What happens happens. Morpheus told me so.

We stepped outside of the house, taking care to avoid landing on any of the stoned worshippers littering her carpet. I hadn’t forgotten about them earlier, but I didn’t think they were very important. It’s one thing if they’re doing some bizarre Igor impersonation; it’s another if they’re just tripping balls.

A red cruiser had parked itself directly outside. A cowlick’d and slightly bruised Kenneth leaned against the door, grinning like a fool.

“I like the part where you guys disappear and come back looking all clean and shit.” Always one with words, that Ken. “When you guys went ‘poof’, Forest and his Alchemists took off. Anybody want to explain that to me?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Ken.” Would you believe that we’re gearing up for a final goddamn showdown?

He rolled his eyes. “Well, Jack told me to be here at this exact time with a Macbook in the back seat. You guys showed up. There’s a lot of things I’d like to believe.” Kenneth finished with a smirk. “Especially if I’m going to help you take that asshat down tonight.”

I looked back at Carina, then at Kenneth. Premature, slightly frightened grins all around. The best kind.

“Drive us to my place,” I said. “I’ll fill you in.”

I could start by saying that some guy just like me is going to throw a different reality against this one.

I could end by saying I won’t let it happen.

…

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The end of this story.

Stay tuned! 

.

.

Read the next installment here. 

Ramen! - Boozing it Up

Fear not, gentle readers, for the cooks of this deliciousness were totally over twenty-one.  Besides, the point of this is not to booze up one’s food, but to add the flavour to one’s food, and thus, improve it.

For this, you need very little.  Start by boiling some water for beef ramen - the beef bit is very important.  Don’t try this with chicken, or any other light meat flavour.  (PROTIP: put one cup water in the pot on high heat to start boiling, and one cup in the microwave for two minutes.  By the time the water comes out of the microwave and you pour it into the pot, the water is nearly or actually boiling, and you don’t feel like you need to wait as long to make it boil.)  Add some two buck chuck of the rouge variety.  I’ve got Firefly Ridge Syrah, from the Central Coast, for those of you that care about that sort of thing.  The important bits are that it’s red, and Firefly, which amuses me because I really like River and want to be Kaylee.

Add some wine - a splash and some, until the water turns brown - the the water and let it keep boiling for a bit.  Add an egg in here if you wish, but I didn’t try it with egg.  I feel like it would be weird, eating wine-flavoured egg.  Mimosa-flavoured egg, on the other hand, is perfectly acceptable, as is wine-mosa.  That’s when you don’t have champagne and just add orange juice to white wine.  Perfectly legitimate drink.  I didn’t just make it up.

Once the water is boiling well again, add in the noodles and let it cook for about ten minutes.  I prefer my noodles super soft and delicious, and those of you that prefer them al dente don’t get booze ramen, which is sad, because it makes beef ramen taste more like beef.  It’s amazing and magical that it does this.  I don’t understand it, it may just be me and my tastebuds associating beef or steak with red wine, but it works and I feel like I should share this with you.

The ramen ought to cook this long so that the alcohol cooks out of it.  You could try lighting it on fire to begin with, without any water in the pot, but I have a tendency to start fires in the kitchen without intending to do so, so I try to avoid fire.  It will probably still smell like wine and booze when you ladle it into your bowl, depending on how much booze you put in.

When it’s finished cooking - it should stay a dark brown - turn off the heat, ladle it into your bowl, and stir some raw spinach in.  It will wilt just a little bit, and stay super green and delicious and not have the life boiled out of it, nor the vitamins, which I hear are good things.  But mostly it is delicious and adds colour and I like my food to be pretty.  I like all the things to be pretty!  

Next week:  Who knows?  I still haven’t gone grocery shopping, but never fear, my dears, for I shall definitely be eating ramen again next week.  I’m a college student, after all.

Always You Part 16

New to the blog?  Read the first installment here.
Just catching up?  Read the previous installment here. 

.

.

The Revelations of Henry Collins

1.

I myself have never tripped acid, but I know a few people who have. They all wound up on academic probation within the end of the school year, and worse, one of them had to drop out of school to have her baby, get married, and move away to be a mom.

Correlation does not imply causation, but still.

I know one person who’s not a total dickwad and still drops acid on a regular basis. The last time he did it, he believed himself to be a deer—vocally calling himself such—and wandered around his house wide-eyed for the better part of a day. The morning after, when all of the dopamine had been sapped from his mind, the poor kid looked like he had attended his own funeral as the cadaver.

Now, I know for a fact that what drugs look like on television is nothing like what drugs look like when you actually try them, and that looks nothing like what people perceive you to be. For instance, I bet the guy I just talked about was having the best fucking time of his life. Either that or he was, you know, a deer.

TV told me that drinking before you’re twenty-one would end in catastrophic consequences for all parties involved once parents inevitably found out. It also told me that “natural substances” would create a clear path in the mind to achieve awakened understanding.

Both of those are bullshit.

In reality, when you drink too much, the world starts spinning and you find yourself making out with a girl you don’t know at a party you don’t belong in and wondering if she always smells like cranberry and vodka. Doing the latter, you end up in the same general place, just after sleeping so hard you could have sworn you died.

So when I watch TV and see images of dropping acid as being ‘psychedelic’ with colors all over the place and weird people talking to me in weird voices, I wrote it off as another pack of lies.

Standing on an invisible surface in the sky, with more pale white than teal zipping past us, seemed a lot more up my alley.

As for weird people, Animal House sans Kenneth seemed to fit the bill. Becky the Frightened Blond Waitress filled that party spot pretty nicely, come to think of it. We lost the other physical fighter, but unlocked Paloma’s limit break. Carina and the Jack looked right as rain.

I, of course, had a look on my face like I just sat through Blue Velvet after being told that it’s adapted from the great German socio-economic satire.

“Ultima,” I repeated the word. “What is that?”

“What is ‘this’, you mean,” Jack said. “It depends on what kind of answer you want.”

Thank you, Morpheus. “The simple one. There’s a simple one, right?”

“The simple answer is that this place does not exist. For that matter, it cannot exist. We are in a space that contradicts normal means.”

Normal means to what?

Paloma started wandering around, hand still choking on Becky’s, but eyes wandering like an infant’s. “We do not know specifics. We were not informed about the other spaces besides Earth and Ultima. We do know that Ultima is the seat of existence, and thus is why it is inaccessible.”

Hold the phone.

This is moving way too fast.

Multiple spaces in reality. There’s so many questions to ask once you bring that up. Are there other people? Are there full-blown alternate people? What about ghosts or something? Do they get a realm? What even constitutes a realm?

…People can access other realms?

“Accessing other realms is nothing out of the norm,” she went on. “With our current Animal House configuration, we may travel to any realm of your choosing.”

Animal House configuration. Like, this specific party set-up? What, is Kenneth bound from Ultima? Not that I get what Ultima even is, yet.

“Kenneth cannot come because he has never come here before,” Jack said in a rush. “Believe me, Henry, this is the time for answers and I would love to give them to you, but we don’t have time. As we speak, Forest is breaking inside from Miranda Cove.”

I thought we had seventeen hours—

Oh, I bet this place has some kind of time distortion.

I let them continue without catching my catching that minor detail. Really, that seems kind of obvious when you think about it.

“What does he want with this place, then? So Ultima is the ‘seat of reality’ or whatever,” I used air quotes, “What’s that supposed to do for him?”

“That’s what you’re about to find out.”

…Come again?

Carina, who up to this point had been dead silent as you might have noticed, touched her hand to mine.

I’m starting to like this place.

“Henry, the Jack and Paloma aren’t human.”

…I could definitely see that. “What are you guys, then?” I asked them directly, but they just watched the admittedly distracting clouds.

Carina continued, “When I first met the Jack, he said he came from a different realm. I didn’t believe him at first, but he said he had met with you, and that he knew me.”

How could he know you before actually knowing you? That sounds a bit convoluted, if you don’t mind my saying so. Well, my thinking so, or narrating so, or whatever, but you get the idea.

“The problem was, he said that Paloma had been sundered in the transaction to Earth.” She grinned, “Yes, he did actually say ‘transaction’. Half of her wound up as Becky, the other half landed somewhere in Miranda Cove.

“Jack went to save her once before, but that didn’t work out. I think you know what happened after that.”

Of course. It’s not like I’ve not been involved in my own life. “It’s just, I don’t get it. When did they meet you first? You never said anything—“

“This is the first time we’re meeting in chronological time,” Paloma said. “The next time you see them is at Lucia’s two days ago, and then wherever we go from here, two days later.”

Wait.

I must have facepalmed or something, because Carina suddenly grabbed me to make sure I didn’t fall. Who knows what I might have fallen into anyway, but this was too much.

When did this become a time-travel, dimension-hopping story?

Carina was right. I need a recap. You probably know this already, but I need a second.

So,  Jack and Paloma aren’t from here. Something sends them from Ultima down to Earth, but Paloma’s ‘transaction’ (whatever that means) doesn’t work, and one thing leads to another, and the Tides get her. Then I enter the picture, we start gathering up Familars, eventually re-forming Paloma’s powers—this whole Familiar thing was about re-forming Paloma’s powers!—and landing back here in Ultima. Which means…

I looked up with a furrowed brow. “The two of you are going back to the past again, right?”

A nod from the Jack.

“But you don’t need to. What are you, trapped in a continual loop?”

“It is our job. It’s always been our job, just like it’s always been your job to go back to Earth right now and stop Forest.”

My job to stop Forest. Because I know how to do that.

“There’s a part you’re missing to the story, Henry,” Jack started again. “When I distracted the Tides from us so that you could go after Kenneth, I wasn’t offering myself up to anything. That was the last bit of my Earth presence. I defeated the Tides and went to Evangeline for help.”

Evangeline?

“She recharged me for another few hours, just long enough to get me to find Carina at Forest’s office. I met with Kenneth, and we went to save you.”

And he went and did all of that seamlessly, because he’s always done it.

What the hell is he? An angel? He fights like a boss, he time-travels, he plot recaps, and he plot derails.

…I guess that finally explains his name.

Getting on point. “I found the Familiars,” I did my best to keep up, “And this loop-thing or whatever is sealed. Now what? I still don’t have a way of beating down Forest.”

“You don’t, but Evangeline does.” Paloma with the answers, as usual. “When my brother met with her, he told Evangeline how you are to defeat Forest. You’ll have four hours left on the clock.”

Four hours left to save the world. Peachy.

With the conversation winding down, I figured it was time to either kick ass or go home. Carina and I back to present Earth to save the day, and the time-travel twins to re-act the time loop.

I feel like I should ask how they feel about that at some point. Maybe on the next loop around.

The world began to take in more and more color, until it resembled a surrealist painting. Carina and I held hands and let the winds of whatever drop us back in Miranda Cove.

“Henry!” Paloma’s voice called back. It wasn’t Paloma, though. It had far too much emotion, too much pep in the step. I couldn’t place it.

“I’m sorry about all of this. I wish we could have spent more time together.”

I nodded. “Maybe next time,” I called out.

“Next time.”

The colors faded. Carina and I stood in front of Evangeline’s house. 

.

.

Read the next installment here.